House that jack built

I live in the house that jack built
And i tried to repair...
Its getting to the stage
Where i wish i didn't care.

The guttering is leaking
Waterfalls upon our head
The door decided not to lock
Then Alfie broke his bed.

The cupboards in the kitchen
All been chewed on my the dog
The past few weeks been hectic
And we cannot flush our bog!

The gate has fallen off out front
Others dodgy at the back
Taps gone dicky,pipes are leaky
Thanks to bloody jack.

He's done my bloody head in since i bought this chuffin place
I'd love to blinkin meet him
And smack him in the face

Instead i'll do my best
To patch the house of dis-repair
But it's getting to the stage...
Where i wish i wasn't there!