MUMS MATHS DAY

On Friday I went back to school

Mums maths day’s what they said

I took a seat beside my son

Saw the work and thought…” I'm dead! ”

The teacher introduced herself

Then said “just ask if you are stuck…

We’re learning through last year’s GCSE’s”

And I sat there just thinking “oh ****”

I looked at the other mums sitting all smiley,

working their way through quite quick

I looked at the paper, my son sitting so eager

And thought “ ohh God help you… I’m thick!”

The teacher came wondering, I just knew she would

Politely said “that isn’t right”

Explained the problem and ways to resolve

Much to my bloody delight.

Well my son he got it, as the teacher went on

Then started explaining to me

I came here this morning to brush up on maths

But I can’t do a GCSE!

Can just about add up the bills every month

Work out prices of shoes in a sale

But give me year 11 maths GCSE

And it's written all over it…FAIL

Those green goblins they will come chasing

They’ll get me for sure i can tell

So I’ll sit here pretending it's all making sense

Until it is time for the bell! 

Well I can get top marks  in cuddles,  

Cleaning and cooking the tea

But I want my son to pass his exams

So Pleeeeease do not come asking me.

 What's happened to our children

 

What have we done to our children?

Technology's taken their youth

they can do not a thing without plugging it in

and that is the gods honest truth!

 

So,what have we done to our children?

tell me, how did all this come about?

When kids will stay home with their gadgets 'n' phone

rather than go to play out?

 

What happened to football and meeting their mates?

what happened to knock a door run?

what happened to the life of a child

where all was exciting and fun?

 

Remember the go karts we'd spend weeks to make

using peoples old bits of tat

old pushchair wheels and odd bits of wood

we were kids,we were happy with that!

 

So tonight i banned xbox,laptops and phones,

banned the ipad's,the consoles and wii

and they've gone to bed all fed up and bored...

and here i am, sitting with...

me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Missing piece of jigsaw

 

 

Something has been missing

something out of place

there's a piece in my life's jigsaw

that i just can not replace.

 

I cant explain the feeling

i know not where to start

but when my life is moving on

i find you... in my heart.

 

I sit and think about you

how the years are going by

if i said i loved another

then i know that i would lie.

 

Well, I'm sure fate caused our meeting

maybe love will see it through

or maybe fate's already found

that jigsaw piece for you.

 

I hope that where life takes you

 your heart will go there too

but that missing piece of jigsaw

in my heart... belongs with you.

 

 

 

 

08/11/11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Mum's the word

Mum's the word

 

Can ya find mi homework mum?

mum? where's mi other shoe?

pots are in the kitchen mum

soz, forgot to do!

 

What time's dinner ready mum?

off out chillin wi mi blud

and he can stay for dinner coz his mum...

she said he could.

 

Dint ya do mi bedroom mum?

coulda made mi bed!

can't find mi other shoe mum...

put mi trainers on instead.

 

 

Can i have a tenner mum?

cos this gaming mag is sick

can i have a tenner mum?

can i mum?...muuuuum quick!!!

 

mum says...

 

Homework's on the table son

still it's yet to do

pots are in the sink sweetheart

be there when homework's through.

 

Dinners in the oven

and it's ready for you now

tell ya blud he's leaving

his mum can cook... the lazy cow.

 

One shoe i found upstairs

and the dog has got the other

by the way i have a question...

is a slave now slang mother?

 

Your bedroom is a pit

needs a warning on the door

"please mind where you are stepping

coz ya can not see the floor"

 

 

I shall not give you that tenner

for that gaming mag that's sick

so get a bloomin paper round

go and get one, get one quick!!!

 

(written by me...ya mum, who doesn't understand much of the teenage language but trying desperately for you to start understanding mine. Blud!)