MUMS MATHS DAY

On Friday I went back to school

Mums maths day’s what they said

I took a seat beside my son

Saw the work and thought…” I'm dead! ”

The teacher introduced herself

Then said “just ask if you are stuck…

We’re learning through last year’s GCSE’s”

And I sat there just thinking “oh ****”

I looked at the other mums sitting all smiley,

working their way through quite quick

I looked at the paper, my son sitting so eager

And thought “ ohh God help you… I’m thick!”

The teacher came wondering, I just knew she would

Politely said “that isn’t right”

Explained the problem and ways to resolve

Much to my bloody delight.

Well my son he got it, as the teacher went on

Then started explaining to me

I came here this morning to brush up on maths

But I can’t do a GCSE!

Can just about add up the bills every month

Work out prices of shoes in a sale

But give me year 11 maths GCSE

And it's written all over it…FAIL

Those green goblins they will come chasing

They’ll get me for sure i can tell

So I’ll sit here pretending it's all making sense

Until it is time for the bell! 

Well I can get top marks  in cuddles,  

Cleaning and cooking the tea

But I want my son to pass his exams

So Pleeeeease do not come asking me.